I think we should go out on a second date

A friend sent me an investment banker’s cover letter for a second date, saying it reminded her of me.

First, read it. It’s…it’s special.

Second, yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Or two times, anyway. Two men (both engineers) have asked me out on a second date again after I said no, and two men (an economist and an engineer) have asked me for feedback as to why I said no.

Porn and calculus

The guy says he’s direct and doesn’t like bullshit. Regardless, it’s jarring when a conversation about past relationships includes the sentence “I’m still friends with my first blowjob.”

(“Indoor voice!” I chirp anxiously, glancing at the table directly to the left.)

The theme of overt sexuality continues when he tells me about one of his business ideas: Porndora. It’s like Pandora for porn. “If you like anal fisting,” he pitches me, “you might also like…”

Later, he decides to disclose some information that makes him look less than brilliant. But rather than simply moving on with the conversation, he follows up with, “But I took calculus in 9th grade!” Then, apparently hoping to cut me down to a manageable size, he scribbles a definite integral problem and shoves it in front of me.

Now, I haven’t taken calculus since the mid-90s, but I’m not one to back down from a challenge. Squinting uncertainly, I jot down my best answer.

He snatches the paper away.

“Did I get it wrong?”

“I dunno. I’m not going to wait around while you try to evaluate the tangent of 1.”

“Wait, So I got it right? ‘Cause it wouldn’t be too hard to estimate the tangent of 1. I mean, I can just take a third of pi radians, which is sixt…”

“I dunno. Whatever. Quick, what’s 31 squared?”

The Craigslist experiment

The Date Wrecks blog has conducted an interesting experiment: Dating profiles for two girls (one slutty) and two guys (one slutty) are posted on Craigslist. The nature and volume of replies are recorded. Here are the experimental setup and the results.

She’s just not that into you–or is she?

It’s hard being a guy. CNN reports that–surprise!–men have trouble reading women’s signals. Why?

• Men are socially lame: “Men…misidentified 12 percent of the images as sexually interested, the study found, while women mistook 8.7 percent of images.”
• Women are confusing: they may be too embarrassed to show clear interest and “too nice” to express a lack of interest.

How can men read women better? Supposedly by looking out for lip-licking, shoe-glancing, arm-touching, and hair-fidgeting. Poor guys.

SweetOnGeeks.com

The Boston Globe’s Carolyn Johnson reports on SweetOnGeeks.com and the world of nerd dating more generally. Highlight of the article: the guy who dresses like a pirate “as often as I possibly can.”

Tips for online profile photos

CNN offers don’ts for your dating profile photos:

• Don’t include animals or babies
• Don’t include other people
• Don’t use fuzzy pictures
• Don’t use old photos
• Don’t go overboard with touch-ups
• Don’t use sexy photos
• Don’t flash gang signs
• Don’t exclude your face

While there’s some good food for thought in here, I have to disagree on several points:

• Animals and babies – If you adore your pet or your new niece, do you really want to date someone who would be scared off by a photo that reflects that fact? Just avoid having half-a-dozen such photos–that’s overkill. And let the reader know if the kid is yours or not!
• Including other people – C’mon–having friends and family is a good thing. Just avoid shots of you with your arm wrapped around hotties of the opposite sex.

For extra credit, I’ll add two don’ts of my own:

• Men, don’t take your shirt off – A shirtless man comes across as arrogant, sex-obsessed, and trying too hard.
• Women, don’t exclude your body – Several of my guy friends avoid girls with face-only photos, suspicious that the girls are hiding major weight problems. If you’re a healthy weight, include a full-body photo.

Rules for phone calls

Yahoo! Personals offers an article on the rules governing phone conversations with people you’re dating. In brief, observe business etiquette:

1. Mirror their phone behavior
2. Don’t play games
3. No one’s too busy for a quick phone call

Eh. Possibly true, but not so entertaining 😉